Hobbies
My children are all adults now, and I finally have time to think about the hobbies I would like to pursue. Over the years, I have made curtains, painted, kayaked, played racquetball and pickleball, and now write on Substack. One thing I have always wanted to try is ceramics. When I was completing my undergraduate degree, I hoped to take a ceramics course, but my schedule never allowed it.
After I finished my CAS in Disability Studies, I decided to make curtains. I hadn’t used a sewing machine since middle school, but I bought one anyway. Then I purchased fabric that I later discovered was far more expensive than I realized. I chose two coordinating patterns with a white backing and began sewing.
When they were finished, they were spectacular. We used them in our home for nearly ten years. It wasn’t until afterward that I thought, What if I had ruined all that expensive fabric? By then, it no longer mattered. I had learned something new and created something I was proud of.
Years later, before the pandemic, Shaun and I went kayaking in Florida. Paddling out was easy. Coming back against the current was another story. Shaun was well ahead of me, trying to coach me from a distance. His upper-body strength made it look effortless, while I struggled to make progress.
Oddly enough, that day reminded me of making the curtains. Both experiences began the same way—with uncertainty. I didn’t know if I could sew well enough to make curtains, and I wasn’t sure I could paddle back against the current. Neither experience was comfortable at first, but both reminded me that trying something new almost always feels awkward before it becomes enjoyable.
Now I find myself asking a different question: Where do I want to spend my time? Ceramics is still on my list. So are writing, gardening, and a few other interests I’ve set aside over the years. Perhaps this season of life isn’t about finding the perfect hobby. Perhaps it’s about giving myself permission to be a beginner again.
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to be a beginner?
Leah
Previously published on Substack.